


Shelter

by tsukithewolf



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game), Shelter: The Animation (2016 Short Film)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Based heavily on the music video, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8803321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukithewolf/pseuds/tsukithewolf
Summary: Nothing changes anymore. The world that belonged to you and your friends continued on each day whether or not you wished it to. It had felt like forever ago that you had expected anything different. You didn’t think of such things any longer. You allowed the world to move around you even as nothing ever actually changed.   Based on the music video "Shelter" by Porter Robinson & Madeon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea in mind for a little while but I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to write it. However I finally decided that yes, I would like to write this idea. I hope the execution is as good as I imagined it to be. It's very hard, in my opinion, to write something for such a beautiful song and video.
> 
> If you haven't watched the music video, you _might_ want to read this first so that the twist at the end is more effective. However if you would like to watch the video first, please do. It is gorgeous and deserves all of the love.

Nothing changes anymore. The world that belonged to you and your friends continued on each day whether or not you wished it to. It had felt like forever ago that you had expected anything different. You didn’t think of such things any longer. You allowed the world to move around you even as nothing ever actually changed.

_What will become of us now?_ In the past you recalled thinking that each day that you woke up. It was one of your first thoughts in the morning. Now it was nothing but a memory. You stopped asking yourself such a question and instead focused on each day.

 

You stretched on the bed, yawning widely, before rolling over into the fluff of your pillows. You were surrounded on all sides by different sized pillows, but you were only hugging your body pillow. You buried your face into it briefly, a hazy image and scent almost coming to your mind, before it faded again as you blinked your eyes open and lifted your head to look at the sunlight streaming into your window. For a few more moments you stared as your mind woke up with your body, your chilled legs pedaling across the sheet of your bed to wake them up and get the blood pumping.

 

A feeling of loneliness clung to your heart making you wonder if you’d had a nice dream. You couldn’t remember if you had dreamt at all. You stretched again languidly and stared out of the window at the practically-white sky. The light of the sun blocked out much of the color. Your thoughts drifted tempting you back into a doze, when a knock sounded at your door. You turned your head as the door cracked open and a red head popped in, golden eyes gazing at you and narrowing a little at the bright light streaming in.

 

“Breakfast is ready.” Saeran informed you in his quiet voice. He glanced back once behind him before he slipped into the room and shut the door. He was still dressed in his pyjamas, no doubt just woken up like you were, but his hair was brushed at the least. His sock-clad feet fidgeted against your rug before he walked over to join you. You smiled at the sight of him and sat up, pulling your night shirt down further to cover your exposed stomach. You couldn’t be chilled in the sunlight. You patted the bed and Saeran gladly hopped up to sit on it without any more prompting. The two of you bounced together briefly under the new weight.

 

“Good morning.” You told him, hand sliding to grip his. He squeezed your hand back, his smile soft, before his eyes alighted on the piece of technology next to your pillow that you hadn’t thought about yet that morning. You followed his gaze and gasped before quickly scooping up the tablet. It was blank of anything up until you quickly tapped on the screen to make it wake up.

 

“Any messages?” He asked as you tapped the buttons needed to go to the messages. Your hopes rose as they always did, but your messages were blank. Your hopes crashed, and you let out a small sigh. The only thing that greeted you was a little text screen that said “No Messages In 2539 Days.”

 

“No.” You told him quietly. Saeran stared at the screen for a little while longer before closing his eyes and turning away to slide off of the bed. Your fingers stroked down the side of the tablet before you turned to look at him. He walked to the door and paused before looking back at you. There was a heavy sadness in your eyes that you felt resonate in you.

 

“Hurry up and get ready before breakfast gets cold.” He told you before he exited the room. You didn’t move for a few moments longer as you basked in the sunlight and stared back down at your tablet. You didn’t know who you were expecting to get a message from. If you had known at one point, you had long since forgotten it. Each morning you would wake up and with bated breath check your emails, but you never received anything. You weren’t sure why you bothered to keep looking. Outside of your family, you never met anybody else anyway. How would you be able to get messages from people other than the ones you lived with?

 

Saeran seemed to have the same expectation. You had never asked him who you were both waiting for. You had considered doing so, but something always held you back. There was a weight he held on his shoulders when he gazed at the lack of messages. You felt that he knew more than you did. At least, more about this than you did. You already knew that Saeran was much smarter than you were.

 

You were dawdling too much, you realized. You needed to get ready. Everyone was waiting.

 

You climbed out of bed and slipped on a dress, keeping your pyjama shorts on underneath. There was no need to get fully dressed at the moment. It was only breakfast. You didn’t want to look too eager to face the day. Besides, you had things you needed to think about. Like what kind of world you wished to create for your family today. You brushed your long hair and gazed at yourself in the mirror. Maybe you should ask about getting your hair cut again soon. It had grown all the way down to your waist now and it took a long time to brush. It looked like your friends were going to be waiting a bit longer.

 

You scooped up your tablet when you were finally ready and exited out of the bedroom. There wasn’t a whole lot to the “living room” area of the place you lived with your family. The table was just large enough for the five of you to sit comfortably and eat without bumping each other a whole lot. The kitchen area could fit two people at the most and was always stocked with whatever you all needed. If there was anything else you needed, you could always attempt to make it. On all sides of the small living area were doors leading to everybody’s separate rooms, one bathroom, and then to the outside. There was no actual furniture in the gathering area of the house other than the table and chairs.

 

You were greeted by your family as you took your own seat next to Saeran and Zen. As you had guessed, almost everyone was still in their pyjamas. Yoosung was half-asleep at the table, yawning and nodding off over his omelet. You didn’t doubt he had stayed up late last night playing video games. Jumin, beside him, appeared almost the total opposite. Although he did hold an air of grogginess to him, he was wide awake and reading a book. He placed it aside when you finally joined them. Jaehee finished bringing over the last plate to the table and sat beside Jumin so that Zen and Jumin wouldn’t have to sit together. She was dressed in casual clothing rather than in her pyjamas. Unlike you she cared about appearing in front of men dressed improperly. You had grown out of that after a while. Zen was finishing tying his hair up as he greeted you with a bright smile. You admired how beautiful he looked this early in the morning. You aspired to be like that. You were sure you looked pretty messy right then.

 

“Good morning.” You responded to everyone as all of you were finally gathered and could begin eating. Jumin must have cooked this morning if Jaehee was serving you all. Jumin refused to serve everyone if he cooked, which you thought was a fair enough deal. You definitely didn’t want to have to deal with serving the portions either when you cooked.

 

“Look at this boy.” Zen said and motioned to Yoosung with his fork. “How is it that he still is obsessed with video games? He’s not even playing with real people online!”

 

“You don’t know that!” Yoosung slurred, forcing himself a bit more awake as he mechanically shoved food into his mouth. You weren’t sure he was even tasting it. “There could be actual people I’m playing with!”

 

“I highly doubt that.” Jumin said. “We would have more contact if they were actual people. Chances are they are computer programs.”

 

“They could be other people living like we are?” You suggested. There was no actual way of knowing, of course.

 

“If they are, I would like to ask them if they know how they ended up in their shelters.” Jaehee murmured around a sip of her coffee. When she saw you eying hers, she passed you the extra mug of coffee she had made in anticipation of your desire. You smiled widely in thanks and drank some of your own.

 

Zen paused at that word. “’Shelter’?” He asked with a small frown.

 

“It means a place of protection.” Jumin explained.

 

“I know what a shelter is!!” Zen snapped, annoyed. Yoosung visibly rolled his eyes at the bickering. “I don’t need you to explain that!”

 

“Then why did you ask?”

 

“Because-! Ugh, just shut up! I wasn’t even talking to you!” Zen huffed his irritation before facing Jaehee again. “Why did you use that word?”

 

Jaehee blinked at him in surprise. “Isn’t that where we’re at?”

 

Zen scratched at his head, a confused frown alighting on his face. “That’s not the first word I would use to describe this place . . .”

 

“What would you call it, then?” Yoosung asked.

 

“I don’t know. Program? Home? Space? I’m not even sure what it is we’re in.”

 

“It must be a program of sorts.” Jumin said, finishing his meal and placing his plate aside. “It would be the only way to explain the control that tablet has over our environment.”

 

Your friends all looked at you and the tablet you had placed on the table next to you. It glowed at ready for you to press the “erase” button like it always did when it was on its default mode. You tapped your spoon against your plate idly, tilting your head to the side some. Yes, you would probably call the place you lived some type of program as well, but this place was also your home. It had been for many years now. However, Jaehee’s use of “shelter” also felt right. You wondered why, though.

 

“Finish eating.” Saeran spoke up finally, motioning to the bit of food still left to eat. “I want some exercise.”

 

“Good point!” Zen agreed. “I feel all stiff. I need some stretching done, and that isn’t going to happen in here!”

 

You grinned, finishing up the last bit of your food. “What should we go for this morning?” You pulled your tablet close to you and pressed a button. A pen materialized for you to grab. You brought the pen to your mouth and tapped it against your lips in thought.

 

“I want to see snow!” Yoosung blurted out immediately.

 

“Oh! Snow! I had forgotten about snow.” Jaehee admitted.

 

“It would be too cold to exercise in unless you’re some type of superhero, though.” Zen complained. “Let’s go somewhere warm.”

 

“It didn’t have to be right away.” Yoosung said. “I just wanted to see snow today.”

 

“We’ll need snow jackets.” Saeran informed you. You could do that.

 

“Is everyone done eating? I can start doodling now.” You said.

 

“Wait, one more bite!” Yoosung finished off the last of his omelet and sipped his chocolate milk before he nodded to you. You pressed the “erase” button as you and your family all stood up. Around you the walls and floor and ceiling and furniture all began to disappear. It disappeared pixel by pixel, digitalizing itself before it faded and left you all standing in what appeared to be a clear box. The world outside was an endless expanse of white. It was dizzying to look at, so you set yourself to doodling.

 

First you drew some furniture for all of you to sit on: an extended couch that allowed the lot of you to relax while you drew and tested out sceneries you wanted to explore today. You didn’t have to delete the furniture within the house as well, but you could always bring it all back at a click. You didn’t need to draw your rooms over and over again. You sat down and cuddled up to Yoosung’s side, a little chilled without the sunlight now, to start drawing the outside.

 

Out of the cube known as your home, a world began to build itself. Pixels folded and stacked on top of each other and altered their colors to suit your purpose. Towers of rocks appeared around your home as canyons formed at your creation. The sky was a brilliant blue with a few stray clouds that you had chosen to add. It was wondrous to look at, but you weren’t sure you liked it enough.

 

“We don’t want to fall off while stretching.” Zen joked.

 

Good point, you decided, and pressed “erase”.

* * *

The rush of the waterfall made you close your eyes and absorb the sound. It was a deafening roar that vibrated your senses and overwhelmed you. You wanted to step under it and feel the water pound against your skin, but you knew it would be better to make a small waterfall if you did that. So you decided to erase a portion of the waterfall and make it smaller so it would no longer hurt before you stepped under it.

 

“Aw, you made it smaller!” Yoosung called over the roar as you stuck your head out from under the spray. He had discovered the cave you hadn’t realized was behind the waterfall. You had wondered where he had gone. You grinned at where he was sitting with Saeran, utterly soaked to the bone.

 

“Found you~” You sang to them, teasingly waving your tablet back and forth. “You can’t hide from a goddess such as I!”

 

“Goddess, she says.” Yoosung teased back, rolling his eyes dramatically at Saeran. The other man didn’t smile, his cheer faltering slightly at your words, before it was back. Was it your imagination? Water rushed over your face. You wondered if it had blurred your vision briefly.

 

“Cheater tablet.” Saeran accused instead, standing up.

 

“Did you find the others?” Yoosung asked.

 

“No.” You sulked. “Jumin is too good at hiding.”

 

“You would think a guy like him wouldn’t be good at hiding.” Your friend whined as the three of you exited the waterfall. The world around you expanded in all directions endlessly. Craggy rocks extended from various places, and trees sprung up out of the ground. You had made everything easy to climb if one wished to climb them. You wanted to climb to the top and make the trees even taller so you could see all around. In the nearby distance you saw the white beacon that would lead you all back to your house no matter where you were.

 

“I think I know where he is, though.” You confessed with a devious grin before running off. Yoosung hooted behind you and took off after you. You cheered as you felt the wind whip your soaked hair around you. Your clothes clung to your body, but the heat of the day would be quick to dry it. You would find the others quickly, you decided, and forced yourself even faster.

 

* * *

Tonight’s dinner had all of you sitting together huddling in front of the fireplace. The walls were clear as you leaned against your large, oversized pillows. In your arms you held a stuffed animal cat as you ate the soup you had made. It was chilly with a winter outside of the walls of your home. Snowy peaks and wintery landscapes surrounded your house. You could see icicles clinging to the cliff overhanging your house. They were clear to reflect the night sky and the aurora that streamed its way across the sky. The colors had you marveling at the sight, but your heart felt heavy and aching to break. You weren’t sure why.

 

“It’s beautiful.” Jaehee whispered, as if afraid to disturb the air around you all.

 

“I can’t even describe some of the colors I’m seeing.” Zen agreed, head tilted back so he could stare at the aurora. His arm stretched towards the ceiling as if attempting to touch the sky.

 

“It reminds me of a video game.” Yoosung confessed.

 

“Does everything remind you of a video game?” Jaehee sighed, gazing at him with exasperation. However her face twisted into surprise when she saw Yoosung. You turned to look at him too and gasped lightly. Tears were rolling down his face as he gazed at the sky. As you watched, a soft sob shook him.

 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, reaching over Jumin to touch your friend’s arm. Yoosung only buried his face into his knees and cried a bit more.

 

“I-I don’t know!” He sobbed. “I just feel so sad! I-I-I-!” He stopped and shook his head to stand up as he wiped more at his face. “I’m sorry. I want to leave now. Can you please-?” He didn’t need to finish. You reset the house to how it usually was, and so Yoosung fled to his room and shut the door.

 

“That was really weird.” Zen commented, shooting a worried look towards Yoosung’s room.

 

“Maybe I should try to talk to him . . . ?” Saeran suggested hesitantly.

 

“It may be best to just leave him.” Jumin responded quietly. “Perhaps it would be best to retire for the evening. It’s late anyhow.”

 

“For once I think I agree with him.” Zen said, patting Saeran on the shoulder. “Time for some beauty sleep.”

 

“. . . Alright.” Jaehee agreed. “If that is what we all think is best . . . then good night.”

 

“Good night.” The others echoed. Your goodbye was a little slower than theirs as you watched all of them retreat to their bedrooms. Saeran stood with you as the others left. Jumin loitered for a bit longer, picking up the book that he hadn’t yet taken from the table, before tucking it into his coat. Saeran’s eyes met yours before he reached out to touch your arm. Before he did, however, he pulled back and shook his head with a smile before entering his own room. You frowned, baffled at the behavior. What had he wanted to say?

 

Your name was called before you could enter your own room and you turned around to find Jumin standing right behind you. He was close enough that you could see the true color of his dark eyes. You stared up at him, somewhat surprised that you hadn’t heard him move across the wooden floor. You couldn’t really tell what his expression was.

 

“Yes?” You asked him.

 

“. . . I don’t think we should use that aurora anymore.” Jumin confessed to you. His voice was soft, but not in a way that was meant to be a secret. It felt weak to you almost. It resonated with you. You realized that maybe Jumin was feeling what you were feeling, or something close to it. Did he understand the feeling more than you did? Did the others feel it as well?

 

“Okay.” You agreed because if it was going to affect your family like this then you weren’t sure you wanted to see the aurora again no matter how beautiful it was. Jumin nodded to you, swallowing visibly, before turning away. Before he could leave, though, you grabbed his sleeve. He looked back at you. “Jumin . . .” You murmured, “do you think . . . I feel like something was missing.” It was a confession you hadn’t known you needed to get out.

 

“Something always feels like it’s missing.” Jumin responded, gently taking your hand from his sleeve. He held it for a few moments longer, giving it a reassuring squeeze, before he released you to also enter his room. You lingered for a little bit, gazing around the empty living room around and staring at the hanging lights from the ceiling. They were a faded golden color that reminded you of Saeran’s eyes. The circular glass globes around the lights made you feel even sadder as you entered your room and shut the door.

 

You dressed in some warm pyjamas before climbing over your bed and pillows, leaving your stuffed cat behind as you sat down on the little enclave of your window and pushed aside your curtains. You could still see the aurora and the snowy night sky landscape. It was stunning to look at, but you didn’t understand why it reminding Yoosung of video games made him cry. You wondered if maybe Yoosung was too obsessed with his games. You vaguely recalled a time when he had stopped playing video games, but somehow he had picked them back up again. You couldn’t remember the cause, though. It was so long ago.

 

Your eyes shifted away from the aurora and to the sky behind it. You believed that Jumin was right in saying that there was always something that felt missing, but you didn’t know from what he was referring to. When Jumin said that something felt like it was missing, you couldn’t help but think the two of you were referring to two different things . . . and yet the same thing at once. You had been referring to the sky originally. Something felt as if it was missing. Gazing at space made tears well up in your own eyes. You sensed as if you were waiting for something. Or as if some image was supposed to be there but wasn’t. You didn’t know.

 

Jumin, however, felt like he was referring to something completely different. Perhaps he was referring to the gap in your memories? All of your friends had mentioned feeling as if they had forgotten things, but you had all associated it with living within whatever program you were in. It was the only excuse you could think of considering none of you knew how you had even gotten in there. But Jumin could’ve been referring to something else. That niggling feeling . . . an explanation on the edge of your mind just out of reach from your grasp. Even now you couldn’t figure it out.

 

The night sky made you so sorrowful.

 

You pressed the “erase” button for the scenery and closed your curtains tightly before curling up on your bed. You held your tablet close to your chest and squeezed your eyes shut.

 

* * *

“Faster!!” Zen called, his long legs taking him far ahead of the lot of you. He ran with wild abandon, his hair slipping from its tie and rippling out behind him. You laughed as the hair tie smacked Jumin in the face from where he was rushing to catch up. It was either he ran with you all, or he would be left far behind in the rolling grassy hills.

 

Your hands found Jaehee’s as she ran past you causing the momentum to fling you both down the hill. She cried out as you both rolled down, down, down and came to a stop at the bottom. Breathlessly you crawled over her, her long hair now tangled with bits of grass and leaves. The shadows of the clouds above you drifted over her face as you leaned down over her, giggling breathlessly.

 

“Warn me next time, please!” She begged you as she regained her bearings. However she didn’t get the chance to fully recover as you heard someone yelp and you were slammed into. Saeran groaned on top of you when you two finished rolling. You could hear Zen and Yoosung laughing heartily.

 

“Did you trip?” You asked your friend as he attempted to sit up. Your laughter continued to huff out of you nevertheless amused despite your slightly-aching ribs. You never did really get hurt here. Whatever pain you felt seemed more like a memory than anything else.

 

“Yes.” Saeran begrudgingly admitted. “There was a rock I hadn’t seen.”

 

“Oh!” You cried, delighting at the idea. You scrambled to your feet and rushed back up the hill where Zen grabbed your arm to haul you up the rest of the way. Jaehee appeared to decide to take the longer, gentler path back up to the top while Jumin moved over to sit against a tree. You lifted your tablet and pressed the “paste” button. The ground shook briefly before a tall pillar of stone erupted beneath your feet and launched you upwards to tower over everyone.

 

“Wooow!!” Yoosung cried, waving his hands up at you. “Me too!!”

 

“Wait, wait, over here!” Zen dashed over to the side, so you pressed paste beneath the two of them. Two more stone pillars erupted from the ground. You rapidly pasted a line of them and dashed across the top until you were standing with Zen on his own.

 

“Be careful!” Jaehee called as she rejoined you all.

 

“She says that like we can actually get hurt.” Yoosung quipped as he dashed past you, jumping from rock to rock. You decided to add pillars of varying heights along the way.

 

“Too slow.” You startled from your drawing as Saeran ran past you, jumping down to a shorter pillar and rolling to his feet again. In retaliation you made it even taller. He shot you a vaguely amused look as you gave him a mock salute and continued to build a path for your friends. You glanced back behind you to see even Jaehee hopping along to join. Jumin was the only one following at a more sedate place alongside the rocks. However something Zen shouted at him had the man moving even faster. A challenge perhaps.

 

“Jumin seems freer.” You mentioned offhandedly to Jaehee as she landed on your rock beside you.

 

“Does he? I have thought similar.” Jaehee sat down next to you and gazed at your drawing. She motioned to take a hold of it and drew a couple of crude trees herself. Luckily no matter how bad the artist was, the program drew something that at least looked similar to what you wanted. You picked up the tree and placed it somewhere else, watching as it was uprooted and planted in the new spot. “I feel as if Jumin used to be much busier and ruder.”

 

“You both were really busy, I think.” You could barely remember your life before the program. You recalled being friends with these people, and you remembered going to parties. You recalled cities and forests, and driving cars. You remembered pain and boring sceneries. You couldn’t remember a world as fantastic as the ones you could make. You shot her a wry smile. “And Jumin is always rude.”

 

“You are right about that one.” Jaehee agreed ruefully. She stood up and brushed off her pants. “Are you coming?” She asked you, pointing at your friends who appeared to be jumping back. Even from where you were you could see Yoosung hunched over and panting. It must be hard to keep up with the athletic Zen. Only Jaehee could really match his skills.

 

“Yup! I’ll catch up! I wanted to draw a couple more things real quick.” She nodded and backed up before launching herself over to the next pillar. You gazed out over the landscape to see the rows of rough stone pillars you had added to the grassy terrain as well as the few trees. The brilliant blue sky and the bright sun illuminated everything, casting only a few shadows. You jumped from the pillar and landed in a short roll onto your back in the grass. You had to squint against the sunlight before something white caught your attention.

 

You sat up and turned your eyes to see a building nearby. It was large, almost castle-like in its size, although it appeared to be more of a modern building. There was a strange green and black symbol that reminded you of an eye of some sort. You looked down at your tablet, but you didn’t see any kind of building on there that you had drawn. It wasn’t your art style, although it was definitely there. Frowning, you stood up and hurried over the building. It was only when you were there did you see a small cat sitting among some tomato plants. When you kneeled to pick up the white cat, you realized it was a robot. Bright blue eyes gazed at you cheerfully reminding you of the sky while the golden ribbon around its neck startled you.

 

Images flashed in your head of a man handing the robot to you. His golden eyes were the same color as the ribbon, and to you he looked just like Saeran. Your mind immediately rejected the idea that this person was Saeran, though. You remembered glasses and a soft heartfelt smile. The man opened his mouth to speak, but you couldn’t recall his words.

 

A hand touched your shoulder, and you startled violently as you spun to the person. Saeran stared at the cat in your hands with wide eyes before he met yours. You held both the cat and the tablet to your chest tightly. You could feel your body trembling and sweat on your face. Even as you tried to grasp at the image in your head, it tried to flee from you. You opened your mouth to say something to your friend, but not words came out.

 

Saeran gripped your shoulders tightly, golden eyes scanning you desperately for something you didn’t know. A tear escaped your eye. He called your name and then swallowed thickly. “What do you remember?” He asked you. His voice was also shaking a little.

 

“I . . .” You tried to speak, “I don’t know. I remember . . . you?” But even as you said it, you still knew it wasn’t Saeran. Not really. But it would be crazy to think it was anyone else. “You don’t wear glasses though.” You added.

 

“No, I don’t.” Saeran breathed, pulling you closer to him. You went willingly as he stared at you imploringly. “Keep going. What do you remember?”

 

“I don’t know.” You whimpered. The memory was still struggling to get away. “He gave this to me. He gave me . . . Meowy. This robot! It’s . . . It’s Meowy! And this place-!” You spun around, but the building and plants were gone. All that was left was Meowy in your arms. You looked back at Saeran as he looked around you both, but the field was back to normal. The others were hurrying to rejoin you. “Saeran?” You asked. “Saeran, who am I thinking of if not you?”

 

Saeran was silent for a long moment. You couldn’t tell what his expression was as the wind caught his hair and blocked his eyes. Finally the man murmured, “Remember for yourself. I can’t remember for you.” He walked towards your friends and left you standing there, baffled and trembling minutely, as the world around your pixelated and faded away.

 

* * *

You weren’t lonely. You had your friends with you. You had been with them so long that they were your family now. You loved how cheerful Yoosung was, and how flirty and playful Zen was. You enjoyed Jaehee’s firm but kind eye and the way she felt like your elder sister. You found it hilarious how rude Jumin could be, but how he clearly watched out for all of you. And you loved Saeran who felt like your pillar in more ways than one. You respected his genius mind, but sought out ways to make him more open to you all. He was the quietest of the group, and now you had begun to wonder why.

 

You stared up at the ceiling and the hanging golden light. Your tablet rested beside you on the bed reflecting its idle light off of Meowy. You had attempted to make the cat to work for you, but it just seemed more and more like a toy. You didn’t know how to turn it on. You had been up for hours already unable to sleep but unwilling to bother any of your friends.

 

None of them had recognized Meowy on sight besides Saeran, and he refused to tell you anything more. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t wondered what you had forgotten on more than one occasion, but it was only now that you wished that you had been more active in trying to remember exactly what you had forgotten. Saeran wouldn’t help you in any way, but the others didn’t recognize Meowy so they would be unable to help you.

 

What had caused the glitch that had allowed you to meet Meowy again? What had been that strange building with the even stranger symbol? It felt familiar to you. Was it a school of some sort? The place that you had worked? A church? You didn’t know. You wished that you could remember. None of the others had seen the glitch, but all of them were worried about it. They had wondered to themselves if it was a sign that the programming was messing up. Or if this was a new feature none of you had discovered? It had gotten all of you questioning once again what had caused all of you to end up in this strange world.

 

You wanted to know who the man from your memories had been. He looked like a younger version of Saeran with longer hair. His glasses, you knew, were striped with yellow and dark grey. Your heart simultaneously sped up and cried out at the thought of him. Your mind cringed away from whatever truth you attempted to remember. When you closed your eyes and reached forward, you could almost imagine feeling his hair. If you really stretched your thoughts, you could recall lips pressing to yours and against your throat. But how much of that was imagination and how much of that was reality?

 

You rolled over and tapped at you tablet. It blinked on and waited, but you didn’t summon the pen to draw. Was it that man’s message that you were waiting for? You had your suspicions of the identity of that person and who he was to you, but you didn’t want it to be true. If they were true, then what did that mean if that man was no longer beside you? You didn’t want to think of it. You curled up tighter on your bed and pulled Meowy to you. The cat almost felt warm to you even though its body was hard and cold. You missed him.

  
What was his name?

 

* * *

“I feel like something is missing.” Zen confessed to you as you walked hand and hand across the water. Rain fell down around you both, soaking your clothing to your bodies but neither of you cared. You gazed up past the rainforest trees to stare at the grey clouds. Nearby was a formation of crystals that the two of you had just climbed down. Your bare feet skated the top of the water rather than dipping into it, sending ripples fighting against each other in all directions. It felt as if you were completely alone with Zen.

 

“Something always feels like it’s missing.” You echoed Jumin’s words. Now more than ever it felt accurate.

 

“Can I tell you something?” He asked you instead of responding. You continued to stare at the sky, blinking your eyes whenever the rain hit them. “Sometimes I think I remember things from before all of this. Before we woke up here in this shelter.”

 

“What kind of things?” You asked, dropping your face to watch him. His red eyes gazed far past the tree line into some distance you couldn’t follow him to.

 

“My home, I think. Being on a stage and performing. Singing and dancing. Riding on a subway. Eating fish crackers. Going to the movies with Yoosung and . . .” He trailed off, frowning.

 

“. . . And?” You prompted softly. Even as Zen told you all of that, you could picture it clearly in your mind. Going with Jaehee to watch Zen in a play. Eating fish crackers with the man as he complained about one thing or another. They felt so very far away from where you were now.

 

“There was always someone else there.” Zen said quietly, pain lacing his voice. More than anyone else in your family, Zen was unable to hide his emotions from you. It painted his every word and expression. You knew he had to have been an astounding actor as you hung onto every sound he made. You could feel the ache physically as he confessed weakly, “Another guy. He looked like Saeran, but it wasn’t Saeran.” He looked at you. “Do you think it was Saeran? And I’m just remembering wrong?”

 

You swallowed thickly. “Saeran doesn’t wear glasses.” You told him.

 

“I don’t think we should have forgotten him.” Zen squeezed your hand, and you pulled him into a hug. His larger body held yours close to him. “Why can’t I remember his name? I can only think of a number. But I know that’s not his name. I know it isn’t!”

 

You only held Zen, unable to respond. You tilted your tablet and clicked onto the messages.

 

“No Messages in 2578 Days.”

 

* * *

“This is my favorite.” You told everyone as you sat on the large glowing crystal. The sky was painted dark reds and purples, but the crystal casted blue and white across the ocean far below. In the distance the beacon of light that was your home shined bright against the dying sky. The wind blew all of your hair around, practically hitting one of your friends in the face until Jaehee grabbed it and tied it up with a ribbon. You smiled gratefully at her.

 

“It’s a stunning sight.” Jumin said. “Some of your finest work.”

 

“I feel like we should be scared of this height.” Yoosung joked, laying down on the crystal and gazing downwards. It had to be a good kilometer high, you thought. You weren’t sure though.

 

“It still gives me the chills.” Jaehee responded. She sat far from the edge of the crystal. The light casted haunting glows across all of your bodies. She attempted to tie up her own hair as well.

 

Saeran stood up and moved to sit beside you before laying down to stare up above. His bare feet kicked idly beneath him. You watched him and were tempted to lay down on him. His stomach looked inviting. “Can we do my favorite next?” He asked. He never asked for sceneries. He preferred to explore whatever you were willing to give him.

 

“You’ll have to draw it. I don’t remember exactly how it went.” You couldn’t help what you doodled after all. You only recalled that the scenery was quite different from yours.

 

“Tomorrow then.” He decided. “. . . I like this one too. I think he would’ve loved it.”

 

None of you responded to Saeran’s words for a long time. Yoosung sat up and brought his legs to his chest as he looked at his best friend. Saeran stared past him, ignoring the other man’s gaze. “How much more do you remember than us?” Jumin asked instead when Yoosung couldn’t seem to voice the words.

 

“I remember my brother. That’s all I remember of my life before this.”

 

“So he truly was your brother.” Jaehee breathed.

 

“Saeran’s brother . . .” Yoosung murmured, voice heavy. “He must have been your twin. You two looked exactly like each other.”

 

“Is.” Saeran corrected pointedly. “He is my brother.”

 

“What is his name?” You asked. “Do you remember it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Saeran, please . . .”

 

Saeran only closed his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed with pain before relaxing again and opening his eyes again. “His name is Saeyoung.”

* * *

The world was monochrome with spindly trees arching and stretching from the ground. The only lights in the area were the glowing cubes speared by a few of the tree branches, gently pulsing white and red. You walked the area with Saeran, your hands tucked deep in your pockets as ash puffed up around your boots with each step. Saeran seemed more haunting in this light, bringing back terrible memories of a time long before the time you lived in now. A time when Saeran had been an enemy and when Saeyoung had been by your side instead. If you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend it was Saeyoung beside you.

 

“How long?” You asked him as you followed him up the winding stairs engraved into one of the trees. He led you to a small nest of pillows nestled into the branches of the tree. He plopped down and curled up in wait as you sat down next to him. He didn’t mind you laying your head on his chest and gazing out from the height you both were at. The forest appeared dead, but you didn’t mind. The beacon for home was behind you.

 

“Since the beginning.” Saeran said. “It’s hard to forget a person when you see them each time you gaze in the mirror.”

 

“You’ve been waiting for us to remember him, haven’t you?”

 

“I’ve been waiting for all of us to remember why we’re here. I’m the only one who has really been trying, though.” Saeran tapped your side. “You have the only piece of technology I could use to find the truth.”

 

Instinctively you cringed. You didn’t understand why your mind rejected the very idea of Saeran touching your tablet. You felt possessive over it. It was your connection to this world. It was _yours_ to protect and hold. But you had no reason to distrust Saeran. You knew of his abilities. It was something that he shared with Saeyoung, after all. However if Saeran tried to hack into the system you were all in . . . what would happen to all of you?

 

“Saeran,” you whispered, gazing at him, “what happened to Saeyoung?”

 

“I don’t know.” He told you truthfully. “But I want to find out.” His hand slipped beneath your coat. You didn’t stop him. The tablet felt cold against your skin. Above you both –far, far above, and yet not nearly far enough- a red planet filled the sky.

 

* * *

All of you sat around the table as Saeran’s fingers danced across the screen of your tablet. Your skin itched unpleasantly as you fought back the thoughts of ripping the tablet away from the man. You didn’t like that you didn’t automatically trust him, but that tablet had been yours for years. It had been entrusted to you. You had been the one who had woken up next to it and had discovered how it had worked. Nobody had argued over your right of it. You had let everyone have their chance with playing and drawing on it, but they were always brief interludes into your ownership of the device. Now you had relinquished it. In its stead you held Meowy close to your chest. He still wasn’t waking up and working. You wondered if he needed batteries.

 

“Will this really help us find out what happened to Saeyoung?” Yoosung asked nervously, munching on some Honey Buddha Chips that you recalled were Saeyoung’s favorites. You reached forward to eat one as well.

 

“Not only that, figure out how we got here!” Zen added. “How long have we been in this place?”

 

“About seven years.” Jumin responded. His hands clenched on the table. “We must have had lives before this that we cannot remember. If anything, see if you can bring those back Saeran.”

 

“I can’t perform miracles. But I can try.” Saeran responded. The room around all of you glitched, and you let out a startled yelp. Saeran winced and apologized but kept going.

 

“Please don’t erase us in the process . . .” Jaehee quickly said, glancing nervously around the house. Saeran only glanced at her in acknowledgment before continuing what he was doing. You gripped Meowy all the tighter as the world glitched again. And again. Becoming worse by the minute. Yoosung’s hand shot out and grabbed your arm, startling you. He stared at you with scared eyes and you realized what he was doing as he scooted closer to you. Jaehee followed the move next as she gripped Jumin’s sleeve and held Zen’s arm. You leaned against Saeran as your family linked themselves together. You all trusted Saeran even as you cowered at the sight of your shelter crashing.

 

Electricity seemed to shoot through your mind as the building around you disintegrated. Saeran jumped back as the tablet screeched at him, went blank momentarily, and then opened up the drawing app. You tucked Meowy between your legs and grabbed him so you wouldn’t lose him. Zen and Yoosung cried out in shock as your body tingled with pain for the first time.

 

“Saeran!” Jumin barked, but whatever he had been about to say had been lost as the drawing app scrawled with images. You could only watch with wide eyes as a world none of you drew developed around you. It looked like a city with cars strewn about. It was a place you recognized from long ago.

 

“Saeyoung!” You heard someone call in your voice, and you all turned to see yourself rush past while the world glitched again and changed. You could tell immediately it was a younger version of yourself as she caught up with a person you recognized as the man from your shared memories.

 

All of you stood together inside of a house. There was a glassed in computer room with red walls and a metal door. In front of you rushed yourself, running to meet the arms of Saeyoung. The man spun you around and held you close as he laughed and called your name. _“You’re finally here!”_ He said.

 

“ _How is it that she’s the most important person of the evening and she got here last?_ ” Zen teased as he greeted you as well. Everyone was gathered there. You didn’t know about your friends, but it felt very strange to be watching themselves. Even so you could see a pixel or two shifting which reminded you that you were watching something different entirely.

 

 _“Excuse you!_ ” Saeyoung huffed in mock-offense, puffing his cheeks out. _“There are_ two _most important people of the evening!”_

 

“ _Yeah, yeah! It takes two for this kind of party, after all!_ ” Yoosung agreed.

 

“What is this?” Yoosung whimpered from beside you.

 

 _“The wine is currently in an ice bucket._ ” Jumin informed everyone as he entered the living room from the kitchen.

 

“ _Jeez, Yoosung, just give everything away why don’t you?_ ” Zen muttered to Yoosung.

 

“ _I already know why I’m here._ ” You giggled.

 

“ _Aw, you already guessed it?_ ” Saeyoung complained. “ _And here I thought I was being so sneaky~”_

 

“ _You told me yourself!”_ You pinched his nose. He kissed the heel of your hand to the best of his ability before you released his nose.

 

“ _Since we’re all here, shall we get on with it then?”_ Jaehee suggested. “ _Some of us had to leave work because of this sudden decision._ ”

 

 _“It’s only sudden because Saeran took so long to agree!_ ” Saeyoung shot a pout at his brother. Saeran stood off to the side not saying anything. You could see he looked uncomfortable. There was a darkness in his eyes that you didn’t quite recognize. He didn’t seem to fit in at all. “ _But! She does have a point!_ ” Saeyoung took your hands in his. You stepped close to him with an eager smile. You felt breathless at the sight of yourself. You looked so unbelievably happy. Was this . . . ? “ _Marry me, please? I want to give you everything, if you’re willing to have me._ ” He murmured.

 

Yoosung jumped up and down and filmed on his phone while Zen cursed and fumbled for his camera. Jaehee already had hers out and snapped a shot. You only laughed somewhat wetly. “ _You already know my answer!”_ You told him. Saeyoung slipped a simple ring on your finger before linking your fingers together. You stared at it with pure joy before grabbing him to pull him into a devastating kiss. Your friends all cheered.

 

The scene changed out from around all of you, flipping faster than any of you could control. Jumin stumbled back a bit but caught himself. Meowy clattered to the ground, but stayed with you. You could only watch feeling like you were falling from a great height. The unfamiliar sensation of a ring on your finger was distracting to you.

 

* * *

_“Come on, seriously?” Saeyoung laughed while he and Yoosung swung on the swing set at the park. Yoosung watched his friend standing on the seat of the swing while he himself swung properly. “There’s no way!”_

_“I’m being serious!” Yoosung whined. “It could really be the apocalypse this time!”_

_“That’s what people were saying in 2012 and in 2000 as well.” Saeyoung rocked back and forth on his seat. “I don’t think it’s worth worrying about.”_

_“Do you know a lot about space then?”_

_“Nah. But nothing I can’t do research on. Anyway, where’s Saeran? Aren’t we supposed to go get ice cream about now?”_

 

* * *

_Zen spun across the ground, his feet stomping in familiar steps as he acted out his part. His heart beat wildly in his chest, but his flow was calm as the words vibrated out of him to the music playing over the speakers of his phone. The grass was soft against his feet out here in the yard while the heat of the sun made him sweat. He bowed and lifted his head in a final note before coming to a natural stop. Clapping filled the silence of the end of the song as he turned to smile at his small crowd. It was only practice, but you, Jaehee, and Saeyoung all clapped ecstatically at his performance._

_“Amazing as always!” Jaehee cheered. “Your singing becomes more beautiful with each time I hear it. It’s a blessing to my ears.”_

_Zen flushed a bit. “Thank you.”_

_“God~ When’s the show already?” Saeyoung asked. “I wanna see the whole thing!”_

_“Same here! I’m so excited! You got us tickets, right?” You asked hopefully._

_“Of course I did! I was able to reserve plenty consider, well, attendance has been a bit low.” His enthusiasm left him somewhat._

_“Hey, dude, that’s not your fault.” Saeyoung quickly told him._

_“Yes, he’s right. Your acting is professional and beautiful as always. It’s the circumstances . . .” Jaehee agreed._

_“I know, I know.” Zen felt the stirrings of his own fear in his chest, but he pushed it away. There was still a chance that it was nothing. He didn’t want to be like the rest of the populace and get too scared. He cleared his throat. “Anyway! How about another?”_

 

* * *

_Jumin paced his house anxiously unable to sit down. The television was on again. Jumin hardly ever watched the television. Usually he was too busy, and when he wasn’t busy he didn’t have the want nor the need to watch whatever was on the television. Now it seemed to be constantly on. It was the same channel wherever he went. It was always the news giving day-by-day updates of the situations. Across the world people were panicking, but it was worse for those on Jumin’s side of the planet. Even he felt creeping horror at what he knew to be inevitable. But that didn’t mean he had to succumb to it._

_The door opened to admit Saeyoung and Saeran, their faces tired and a bit bleak. Jumin briefly wondered where you were before dismissing it. He didn’t have time to worry right now. He approached both brothers quickly. “What you’re proposing is impossible.” He stated immediately. He had wanted to say it in the chatroom when Saeyoung had even suggested it, but he knew it would’ve been better to discuss in person._

_“It’s not.” Saeyoung insisted. “We have the ability to make the program. We can do it, Jumin. And you have the money. You just need to get your father on board.”_

_“How selfish do you think we can get?” Jumin demanded. “You’re asking for a spaceship. Something nobody has done in the amount of time you’re suggesting. Even you must realize how terrible of an idea this is.”_

_“Selfish, you say?” Saeran stepped in. “What does it matter if we’re being selfish? People will die either way. We might as well look out for our own!”_

_“And give us what kind of life?”_

_“Something that could at least save us!” Saeyoung yelled. “Something that can save our_ family _, Jumin!”_

_“You don’t even know if this will work!” Jumin hissed back. “What will the others say? Think of all of the people we would wish to bring with us! We only have so much time!”_

_Saeran stared at Saeyoung, his eyes hard as stone. Jumin could tell there was something the other twin knew that Saeyoung wasn’t saying. It wasn’t right. None of this was right. But Saeyoung was right. Damn him; Saeyoung had a point._

_“You let me handle the details.” Saeyoung told him finally. “Just give me the means and I’ll give you a product.” He grinned, but it wasn’t anything happy. “I always pull through, don’t I?”_

 

* * *

_You hated to go outside now. You used to love it, but now it just filled you with pain. You curled up on the couch with Saeyoung while he continued to write and type on his various computers. Saeran sat on the floor instead, his hair a mess from running his hands into it. They both had to be tired, you knew. The news played in the background on a loop showing different world leaders and important people talking. You knew some of them personally from a couple of years of hosting RFA parties. Some of them were even helping your husband now. The camera switched to a view of the descending red planet lingering over Japan and Korea and the Pacific Ocean._

_“You need a break.” You whispered to both of them, looking away from the screen._

_“No time.” Both immediately responded. In the past you would’ve laughed with them over their surround sound answers, but now you didn’t really feel like laughing._

_“Everybody needs breaks. You two are exhausted. You’ll think better after a nap. Please.” Neither brother listened to you until you touched Saeyoung’s arm. He looked at you with his ashen face, his eyes sunken from hours of working. You gently pushed aside his work and stood him up. He came with you with a mild protest, but he couldn’t work a full one up. That just showed how tired he truly was._

_“We don’t have time to sleep.” Saeran protested even as his own work was slowly pushed aside so he could stand. You squeeze his hand once and smiled before nodding to his room. You all needed rest. You would plead if you had to._

_You didn’t have to, though. Saeyoung followed you back to the bedroom where he slipped out of his jeans and collapsed onto the bed. You fell onto the bed next to him and pulled the covers up over you. “Just a few hours.” You told him as he watched you. For his sake, you grinned and tweaked his nose. “Sleep with me.”_

_“I think I’m too tired to have sex.” He told you around a yawn, a teasing smile on his own face. You wrapped your arms around his chest and kissed him. He kissed you back with a passion, pushing you down further onto the bed although he didn’t initiate anything. You melted into his embrace. You didn’t want this to be the end._

 

* * *

_The festival was in full swing as you all walked together. Jaehee watched as Yoosung ran ahead dragging Saeran behind him while you and Jumin became distracted by a children’s game. Judging by your laughter, Jumin had just confessed to not knowing what you were both looking at. It amused Jaehee to see her old boss to look that way as she tucked her arms into her sleeves._

_“I can’t believe they’re holding a festival in the middle of all of this.” Zen commented as he finished signing something for a fan and caught up with Jaehee and Saeyoung. The three of them stood in line together waiting for some fresh food. Jaehee’s stomach growled. She hadn’t eaten fresh food like this in a while, although it was mostly greasy stuff. She could use some grease if she was honest. “You would think considering the circumstances . . .”_

_“People have to keep what little joys they have.” Jaehee murmured. “Otherwise it will all be chaos.” Despite Zen’s comment, the lack of people was obvious. Although not dead, the amount of people at the festival was sparse compared to more recent years._

_“As long as people have fun, that’s all that matters right?” Saeyoung asked. His gaze drifted over to you where you were smiling and paying for some type of toy. His eyes were soft with a love that Jaehee was almost jealous of. Now that she finally had the time to date, she no longer had the time to actually date._

_“That goes for you too.” Zen nudged his friend. “You and Saeran. You both need to take more breaks.”_

_“I know, I know!” Saeyoung whined. “I’m already getting it for my missus over there. Don’t you start too, big sis.”_

_“Gross! Don’t call me something like that, dude! It’s not cute!”_

_Saeyoung laughed, and Jaehee couldn’t help her own smile. She had missed this carefree-ness that the RFA used to have daily._

 

* * *

_A fist slammed into Saeyoung’s cheek, throwing the man to the ground hard. Saeran panted, furious, as his brother climbed back to his feet with an angered shout. “You bastard.” Saeran growled, shaking with his fury. “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing! Do you think this will make anybody happy?!” He shouted, throwing the altered blueprints in Saeyoung’s face. Saeyoung’s face blanked at the sight, a sure sign that he was hiding his reaction._

_“Whoops.” He joked with a laugh. “Looks like you found out!”_

_“STOP LAUGHING!!” Saeran screamed. He knew his brother’s laughter was forced anyway. He was hiding again behind his smile. He couldn’t trick Saeran. He would never be able to trick Saeran ever again. “Why are you doing this?! You don’t need to go to these lengths!”_

_“Yes, I do.” Saeyoung said, sobering up. “You can tell just as I can.”_

_“We can find a way, dammit! You don’t need to give up before we try!”_

_“We have limited resources. We have to preserve what we can-”_

_“And sacrifice you in the process?!”_

_“If that’s what it takes to make sure you’re all safe, then I don’t care what happens to me!!” Saeyoung screamed at his brother, startling the other man. Bitter tears welled up in Saeran’s eyes as Saeyoung dropped his face into his hands. “I don’t want to do this.” His brother said softly. “But I have to. Don’t you see, Saeran? I_ have _to!”_

_“Then let me stay behind instead. They were your family first.” Saeran offered, even as the horror of his own offer weighed on him._

_“No!” Saeyoung sat up sharply and grabbed at Saeran’s shirt. “No! Never again! I’m not going to leave you behind ever again, Saeran! I promised you, didn’t I?”_

_“But it’s okay if you stay behind instead? That’s fucking leaving me too!” He yelled._

_“I don’t care if you hate me forever for it.” Saeyoung whispered. “Because at least you’ll be alive to hate me for it. I’ll be watching over all of you until I’m gone. However long that takes.”_

 

* * *

_“So it’ll be like its own world inside of . . . an artificial space?” You asked, sitting in Saeyoung’s lap as he showed you how the tablet in the “shelter” would work._

_“Yup! You’ll be able to draw and create whatever you want! Except real life, though. I don’t have time to program AI into it. Sorry.” Saeyoung kissed your cheek. You giggled a bit and sighed._

_“Aw, that means I can’t create the perfect cat for us!” You tilted your head back to rest against his shoulder. You watched and listened to his every instruction. You were going to be the one in charge of the tablet that could alter the world of the shelter you all would be in, after all, so you wanted to make sure that it would work properly._

_“It’s a tragedy, I know. But it’ll be okay. You can take Meowy with you instead. I think he may be able to come with you and work properly. That’s the closest thing you can get to a cat, it seems.”_

_“A shame.”_

_“I know~”_

_“Will we all have our own rooms? Or would we have to share?” You giggled some. “I don’t think the others will be happy to share a bedroom with a married couple!”_

_“Obviously it’ll all be one big orgy.” Saeyoung said, his tone scolding you for not realizing. You barked a laugh that got him laughing too into your hair._

_“Oh God, it would be a horrible orgy!”_

_“Well, with_ that _attitude . . .”_

_“Are we really sharing the bedroom?”_

_“Nah, you can make rooms for everyone. Here, this is how you can save a design so you can reuse it whenever you want.”_

_“Oh! So cool!”_

_“Right~? Praise me more~!”_

_You hummed and spun around in his lap. “How about I praise you in a different way?” You murmured against his lips. His eyelids lowered with interest as a slow grin spread across his face._

_“Praise me~” He teased again, and kissed you properly. The tablet clattered to the ground, but neither of you paid any mind._

 

* * *

_The ship wasn’t as large as Yoosung had expected it to be, but it was still very large. Bigger than a helicopter, but smaller than an airplane. The inside had some wicked looking machines that made Yoosung’s skin crawl knowing they would be inserted into their bodies. He knew it was to keep them alive, but it was still terrifying to look at._

_“Do we really have to be naked?” Jaehee asked, shuffling uncomfortably in her robe. All of them except Saeyoung were dressed in the robes, bare as the day they were born underneath them. The other week they’d all had the ports implanted into their backs and arms. Yoosung still ached terribly from them. He hadn’t slept very well in the past few days, but to be fair Saeyoung had said they would be sleeping for a long time to come. None of them knew how long, but it would definitely be longer than a day._

_“If it bothers you so much to be seen bare, we can have the others go first.” Jumin suggested coldly. Yoosung thought the man was in a bad mood. Yoosung wasn’t feeling the hottest either, of course. They were to leave Earth today for an unknown amount of time. Behind them millions would no doubt die. It . . . wasn’t a good feeling at all. It made Yoosung want to vomit._

_“The thought of being trapped in a room naked with a bunch of guys and two girls? Ugh.” Zen muttered._

_“Quit whining. None of us will be naked once we’re in the program.” Saeran snapped. Yoosung noticed he was also in a horrible mood. His golden eyes were red, as if he had been crying. Yoosung wondered if this was hitting Saeran harder than the man wanted to admit._

_“Saeyoung? Why aren’t you also naked?” He asked Saeyoung instead. The man was fiddling around with his computer. There was a team of engineers also in the room, but they were largely ignored. Yoosung felt like he would cry again. His own eyes were red from having to say goodbye to his family. It had been a horrible choice for him to leave them all behind. He knew the others weren’t doing much better._

_“I gotta get everyone else hooked up first, duh.” Saeyoung said, not turning to look at them. “Now get into your places. You’ll feel a couple of nasty pinches probably as we put the tubes in, but it’ll fade. Hurry now!”_

_You led the way onto the ship, reluctantly stripping off your robe. The rest of the RFA tried not to look at each other as they all did the same and buckled up. Saeyoung and a few of the medical doctors who came in to help everyone get hooked up properly didn’t take any notice of the state of nudity._

_“This is the kinkiest we’ve ever gotten.” You joked to your husband, which got Saeyoung to laugh a little bit. Yoosung’s heart felt a little bit lighter for it even as he saw you wince badly and gasp as you were hooked up. Saeyoung apologized repeatedly under his breath. Yoosung whimpered as the same was done to him._

_“G-Gross.” Zen commented._

_“I think that just scraped across my spine.” You moaned._

_“Oh God, please do not say that.” Jaehee said._

_“I don’t need that image.” Jumin agreed as he was seen to. Yoosung felt horribly uncomfortable. His entire body throbbed in pain as he leaned against the cushions that surrounded the seat._

_“Sorry for the discomfort.” Saeyoung said to you all. “Look at me real quick.” They all did as he was asked, and he gave them a thumbs up. “Listen, just a head’s up. I don’t have any proof of course, but this is a totally new experiment so there will probably be some, uh, errors.”_

_“What kind of errors?” Jumin demanded._

_“That’s_ really _not the thing to say right now!!” Yoosung cried, trembling. “I’m freaking out now!”_

_“I’m sorry! Sorry! I don’t mean anything particularly bad . . . at least nothing you all should worry about.” He muttered under his breath. Saeran cursed loudly, startling everyone, his fist shaking from where he was gripping his safety railings. He was furious, Yoosung realized, but also terrified. Why was Saeran so scared? He had helped build everything! Yoosung didn’t get the chance to ask._

_“When you get into the ‘shelter’, there are possibilities of memory loss in the process of your consciousness being uploaded. Don’t be too freaked out. Your memories are there, they’ll just be, uh, scattered. Given time I’m sure it’ll all come back to you. If not . . . troubleshoot?” He joked._

_“Are we expecting to lose our memories?” Jaehee asked._

_“Definitely at first. But you’ll recover them, I’m sure.” Saeyoung nodded and stepped forwards. “We’ll get ready to put you guys to sleep now. That way you won’t be in any more pain.” He reached you first and kissed you before he tapped his forehead to yours. You gazed at him in confusion as he whispered something to you before he stepped to each RFA member and touched his forehead to theirs and said something._

_By the time Saeyoung had reached Yoosung, the younger man was having a horrible suspicion. Saeyoung closed his eyes as he touched his forehead to Yoosung’s and gazed at him deep in the eyes. Yoosung’s own eyes began to well up when Saeyoung smiled. “I put a lot of video games in the program for you, okay? Let’s play again sometime.” He stepped away leaving Yoosung speechless._

_Saeran was the last one, and Yoosung was close enough to the brothers to hear Saeyoung whisper to his brother, “Please . . . take care of her for me.”_

_“I hate you.” Saeran whispered back, voice broken and without heat. Yoosung understood then as Saeyoung only grinned and stepped out of the ship. No, no, this couldn’t be happening!_

_“Saeyoung!” Yoosung screamed. The glass seal began to descend then, separating them from the rest of the Earth. “Saeyoung, no!”_

_“What are you doing?!” Zen yelled. “You’re supposed to come with us!”_

_“Oh God, there aren’t any more spots.” Jaehee whispered, horrified._

_“No. No, he’s not supposed to do this. Saeran, what is he doing?!” Jumin said. Yoosung heard something click and his body felt strange. A heaviness was overcoming him._

_“I hate him.” Saeran said again and again. “I hate him so much!”_

_“SAEYOUNG!!” You screamed, and Yoosung sobbed at the desperation in your voice. He saw you attempt to kick and break free, but the sleep rapidly taking his mind was no doubt taking yours too. He couldn’t understand what anybody else was saying anymore. He only cried as he stared at his best friend through the glass, watching him lift his glasses and wipe at his eyes, until Yoosung’s mind succumbed to the darkness._

 

* * *

You fell to your knees, clutching Meowy to you as you sobbed. Your suspicions had been proven correct. Saeyoung was not with you because he had never joined you. You didn’t know what had happened to the Earth, but you knew that he was still there somewhere. It had been seven years and you hadn’t received a message from him. And none of you had returned home.

 

Yoosung fell to the ground and buried his face into his knees, wailing. You could hear his screams along with Jaehee’s own softer sobs. “You fucking knew!!” Zen shouted, and you lifted your head sharply to see him grabbing Saeran by the front of the shirt. Tears streamed down the man’s face as he glared furiously at the younger man. “You knew he was going to stay and didn’t warn us at all!”

 

“He was going to stay either way!” Saeran shouted back. “I couldn’t stop him!”

 

“But you did not warn us either!” Jumin’s voice shuddered with his own repressed emotion. Anger and self-hatred were forefront in his expression. “God . . . we could have saved him! We could have changed his mind!”

 

“Didn’t you want to save your fucking brother?!” Zen shouted at Saeran.

 

“Stop it!” You shrieked, yanking at Zen’s jacket to get his attention back. The room around you all glitched and fell blank until only darkness surrounded you all. You sobbed and buried your face against Zen’s back. “Please, just stop!” You had all seen exactly how furious Saeran had been. You didn’t understand how all of your memories had been mixed together like that, but Saeran had managed to hack the system. Of course of all people he could. He had been one of the two who had programmed it, after all.

 

Zen released Saeran, who buried his hands into his hair and turned away from everyone to walk a few paces alone into the darkness and stand there. You could feel Zen’s back trembling before you also released him and stepped back. The only light within the darkness came from your tablet, abandoned next to Meowy. Saeyoung had been wrong. Meowy didn’t work in the shelter.

 

None of you spoke for a long time as you recovered from everything you had just seen. None of you knew the fate of the Earth, although you could theorize as much as you wanted. There was a guarantee that the Earth was either destroyed or ruined. The question was, were there any survivors? Was there a place you all could go back to? Would Saeyoung be there waiting for you all? And if so, how would you even get back home?

 

“What . . . what do we do?” Jaehee asked weakly.

 

“How do we keep going as we did knowing what happened?” Zen reiterated what the woman meant.

 

“Saeyoung . . . ! Saeyoung . . . !” Yoosung sobbed, curling up a bit more. You wanted to do the same. You wanted your bed back. You wanted to bury yourself in it and never wake up for a long time. You wanted to go back to the beginning and pay more attention to your husband. You would have rather died with him than have left him behind.

 

Jumin took a couple of steadying breaths, fists clenched, before he released them again. “. . . We figure out what message we just got.” He said.

 

“What?” Zen whirled on him, baffled. “What the hell kind of nonsense are you saying now?!”

 

“No, look!” Jaehee breathed. You looked to where she was pointing at the tablet. It was lit up on the home screen, where the icon for the messages was lit up with a single red 1. Saeran hurried back to your side as all of you scrambled around the tablet. The darkness that surrounded you lit up suddenly, spreading out a circular patch of grass surrounded by water. The bright blue sky illuminated the world around you as the sun warmed your backs. Your hand shook as you pressed the message button. Two screens appeared from the tablet, the other popping up in front of you as words scrawled quickly across it. It was some type of code you didn’t recognize. But Saeran gasped.

 

“It’s from Saeyoung!” He said, fingers reaching to brush against the hologram. The words altered in your vision, but they were still incomprehensible to you. It didn’t matter, though. It was a message from Saeyoung. You finally had word from him.

 

* * *

You read and reread the translated message as you sat in your bed. The sunlight streamed in through your window as added light as a tear ran down your cheek. You sniffled and wiped at your eyes, but more tears just kept coming as you continued to read. Your memories, now that they were returned to you, made you so very sad. But even so you were determined to move forward. You had to keep believing. That was the whole point of this endeavor by Saeyoung: to believe there was a future for you all.

 

You couldn’t feel lonely with your family surrounding you. They were there to support you always. That was what family did, after all. You would hurt together, and heal together. Your memories with them all would keep you going. You wanted to thank them all. You wanted to thank _him_ for what he had sacrificed for your future. You wanted to share that future with him.

 

Beside you Meowy purred and murmured calming words to you in a playful tone you recognized from your memories. You pulled the robot close to your chest as the cat nuzzled under your chin. It wasn't comfortable because it was a robot, but the purring helped soothe you. 

 

You couldn’t be lonely because of Saeyoung. You would believe in the man you loved. You would believe in his hope.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any typos. I worked literally all day on this. Chances are there are typos I've missed. Let me know if you see any glaring ones, please.


End file.
